The 300 Pound Pig

I have decided to characterize this time of my spiritual journey as the time of the 300 pound pig. Let me explain. My son and I used to slaughter farm animals for friends and neighbors some years back (those nice packages of pork chops or bacon just don't grow on trees you know). We knew our equipment limitations (scalding tub size, lifting equipment) and were content to kill and prepare 200 to 225 pound pigs. So when a neighbor called late in the season I queried him if the pigs were really the right size. He assured me that they were and off we went. When we pulled up, set up the equipment, got the water to heating we went inside the barn to look at the pigs. These were not your nice 200 to 225 pound piggies, these were 300+ pound porkers. I had my doubts and should have walked away but chose to proceed. I put the first one down and bled it. When it took both of us to drag it out of the barn I should have known we would have problems. When we hoisted it up and it bent my hay hook out straight like an awl I should have suspected it was worse than I thought. When we finally had it up and plopped in the tub and there was literally no room between it and the tub walls (imagine big, big fat person, naked, lying on back in small tub and you get the picture). At that point my son and I bent over the pig with scrapers in hand and he asked the very pointed but obviously belated question, "What do we do now?" Faced with no easy way out I said, "Start scraping", and we did. And we scraped and scraped, and pushed, and prodded, and ached, and swore, and vowed that we would never be suckered into doing this again (even though we knew we had a second monster pig waiting in the barn). But when you are faced with a 300 pound pig and have made the commitment to start, the only way to get through it is to throw yourself at it and keep at it for however long it takes to get through the job at hand. And that is why I feel that where I am spiritually is wresting with that 300 pound pig. I know that there is an end, even if it is not in sight yet, but the only way there is to keep at it.